“You can tell who has a coach.”
I wasn’t even looking at the scorecards when my friend Kim said it.
We were sitting in the audience at an NPC bodybuilding competition, watching competitor after competitor take the stage.
“See that?” she whispered. “That athlete has coaching.”
At first, I wasn’t sure what she was seeing.
All I could think was that every woman on that stage looked incredible.
The discipline alone was enough to impress me.
The workouts.
The nutrition.
The posing.
The heels.
Let’s be honest—the thickest part of my fitness journey is usually the eating portion.
So I was already in awe.
My friend Monica was competing, and as I watched athlete after athlete walk across the stage, I realized this wasn’t just a competition about physiques.
It was a masterclass in leadership.
Because the competitors who stood out shared four things in common:
They had discipline.
They had presence.
They had coaching.
And they knew where they were most likely to shine.
1. Presence Is Earned Through Repetition
One thing became obvious as the competition went on.
You could tell who had been doing this for a while.
Not because they necessarily had the best physique.
But because they trusted themselves.
The experienced competitors didn’t rush.
They knew their angles.
They knew their strengths.
They knew how to command the stage.
Most importantly, they knew how to enjoy the moment.
Some competitors seemed eager to get through their individual posing routine as quickly as possible. They walked out, hit their poses, and hurried off stage.
Others soaked up every second.
They smiled.
Made eye contact.
Paused.
Owned their space.
There was something powerful about watching someone fully embrace their moment.
It reminded me that confidence isn’t something you’re born with.
It’s built through repetition.
Through practice.
Through showing up again and again until what once felt awkward becomes natural.
Whether you’re standing on a competition stage, presenting in a boardroom, leading a team meeting, or giving a keynote, presence is developed—not discovered.
2. Coaching Accelerates Growth
As Kim and I continued watching, we found ourselves playing a little game.
Without knowing any of the competitors, we started guessing who had coaching and who didn’t.
Surprisingly, it wasn’t based on physique.
It was based on presence.
The athletes who had coaching knew how to transition between poses.
They knew where to look.
They knew how long to hold a pose.
They knew how to showcase their strengths.
The difference was subtle, but it was noticeable.
And it reminded me of something that’s true in leadership.
The most successful leaders rarely get there alone.
They have coaches.
Mentors.
Trusted advisors.
People willing to tell them what they can’t see for themselves.
Because no matter how talented you are, you still have blind spots.
Too often we confuse independence with strength.
We think asking for help means we’re not capable.
But the competitors who stood out weren’t weaker because they sought guidance.
They were stronger because they did.
The fastest way to grow isn’t always more effort.
Sometimes it’s better feedback.
3. Not Every Category Is Your Category
Another lesson hit me while watching Monica compete.
She didn’t enter every category.
She entered the categories where she was best positioned to succeed.
The categories that aligned with her physique, her strengths, and where she could be most competitive.
And honestly, that’s a lesson many leaders need to hear.
Too often we spend our careers trying to win in someone else’s category.
We compare ourselves to people with different gifts, different experiences, different strengths, and different goals.
We see someone else’s success and assume we should be pursuing the same path.
But the smartest competitors know something different.
They know themselves.
They understand their strengths.
They know where they have a competitive advantage.
And they place themselves in environments where those strengths can shine.
Leadership works the same way.
Not everyone should lead the same way.
Not everyone should build the same business.
Not everyone should pursue the same opportunities.
The goal isn’t to be good at everything.
The goal is to identify where you’re uniquely built to excel.
4. People Feel Your Presence Before They Hear Your Words
What struck me most was that every competitor had her own style.
Her own walk.
Her own energy.
Her own personality.
And the athletes who stood out weren’t necessarily trying to be someone else.
They were fully themselves.
That’s what made them memorable.
People often think presence is about being the loudest person in the room.
It’s not.
It’s about being fully present in the space you’re occupying.
People feel your energy before they hear your words.
They notice your confidence before you introduce yourself.
They experience your presence before they evaluate your expertise.
That’s true on a competition stage.
And it’s true in leadership.
Final Thought
Watching Monica compete reminded me that success is rarely about one thing.
It’s not just discipline.
It’s not just talent.
It’s not just confidence.
The athletes who stood out combined discipline, presence, coaching, and self-awareness.
They practiced relentlessly.
They sought guidance.
They understood their strengths.
And when their moment came, they didn’t rush through it.
They owned it.
Maybe that’s the lesson for all of us.
Know your strengths.
Find your category.
Get coaching.
Practice your presence.
And when your moment arrives, don’t rush through it.
Take your time.
Take your space.
Let people see who you are